What I’ve Learned from 2020 (so far)

Part One: Death is a constant companion through life.

2020 has been a formidable year; not only for myself but for many people around the world. Our daily lives have been upended and we’re all learning to adapt to our new “normal”. For many of us, it means we’ve completely changed our schedules; working from home, taking classes online, changing wedding dates, postponing vacations, or “virtual hugs”. The most painful change, for many, has been the loss of a loved one.

As I entered 2020, I knew I needed to prepare myself; that this year would change my life. I had to prepare myself for the death of my father. It’s a bit morbid but I knew my father would pass this year. It was not unexpected. To be honest, I thought that he would leave us in March, so I wasn’t quite ready when January 16th arrived.

Now, as we observe our first Father’s Day without him, I’m still at a loss for words.

Grief is a strange phenomenon. It sits with you. It appears randomly, sometimes stronger then you think it will, and it’s different for every one.

I still can’t put into words what losing my father has meant to me but I can take solace in some of the things he’s left behind; his stethoscope, his many (many) medical textbooks, and my favorite, a book he wrote full of stories from his life. It’s funny how, after he’s passed, that I find we had more things in common than I ever knew.

I don’t know when I’ll be able to find my words but I can say this…I miss you.

XX

L